Pressure Cooker

A friend of mine got a pressure cooker a few of weeks ago.  She loves it so much, and the first week or so that she had it she used it EVERYDAY and would post pictures of everything she had made and it all looked amazing.  Apparently enough people were interested in her "pressure cooking" and asked her enough questions about it that she decided to make a Facebook group where people could ask questions or talk about their pressure cooking experiences.  As many know, I love to cook and am always looking for an easier way to make things, so naturally I asked her questions about her new found cooking style which in turn she added me to her Facebook group.

However, this is not a blog about my cooking endeavors, this is the story of my journey bringing home my daughter.  Ever since I was added to that group and learned more about the world of pressure cooking (all I know is what I learned from my host family when I lived in France as they used theirs a few times a week).  I have gotten to think more and more about how this journey I am on is a lot like a pressure cooker.

We started out loose and happy and ready to "do God's will" no matter the cost.  Then slow downs happened and the pressure started building and building and soon we didn't understand why God had called us on this VERY difficult path.  We got to a point that we felt that we couldn't handle the pressure and God relieved it a little bit by bringing significant movement and then after more pressure build up, by matching us with our daughter.  Since then EVERY step has been life in a pressure cooker.  We sit at a stand still for months and months with the pressure building around us.  Then some small change or progress comes to relieve the pressure for a time.  Then we sit and wait again and then another bit of progress happens and the pressure is let out again.

This happens over and over many many times! 

How much pressure can we handle? 

When will God decide that we are done "cooking" and turn the switch to "quick release" and allow all of the pressure to come flooding out.  I have faith that God can do that.  I know that he can work miracles. He just doesn't seem to want to.  I search my brain for a reason, I dwell on what I can learn and improve in my life during this time, to occupy me and to prepare me to be a better parent, more equipped to parent a child from a hard place.  I also spend time just dwelling in God and thinking "Maybe I just need to sit, and be quiet and trust...Be still and know that I am God" is what he calls us to do.   I have actually been able to do that some.  Yet, still the pressure and the pain keeps building up.  I have faith that it will be released as soon as I don't think I can handle it anymore.  But apparently God thinks/knows I can handle more than I think I  can handle or would like to handle.

Really I just want my girl home!  I want all of the paperwork process to just speed up and I want to fly through the whole rest of the process.  I want to have no more delays and SOMETHING in this crazy annoying part of the journey to go in our favor.  People have passed us up by months in this process and we still just sit and wait while the pressure builds and builds and we wonder if we will ever bring our girl home.  Will she be home by next school year?  Will she be here by her 5th birthday or Christmas?  I don't know.  Only God knows. 

Feeling Blessed

I know many of you have seen my post a couple of posts ago, and how discouraged I was in January.  Well February has turned out to be a much better month!   (I think because it's such an awesome birthday month).  Well after we got submitted to Embassy, I was feeling pretty good.  But then last week a mom who has adopted through our agency mentioned on our Facebook group that she was currently in our daughter's town in Ethiopia and asked if she could "love on any of our kids".  Well obviously I contacted her and she went the next day!!  She got back to me later saying that the orphanage was absolutely great, and the director was so loving and kind.  She said it was the only orphanage that allowed her to take pictures and she got to spend lots of time with our sweet girl!  So we were able to get TONS and TONS of pictures of her and her size and shoe size.  The report is that she seems like a typical 4 year old.  She was shy at first but then was engaging when she realized she was the "girl of the hour!".  We even got a video of her saying her name (So we FINALLY know how to pronounce it, and will have to retrain ourselves to say it correctly!!) and singing a couple of songs!!  Talk about heart melting!! 

The director also explained that our daughter has a couple of friends who are getting adopted as well and she really wanted them to remain in contact after they moved to the US.  Well, naturally we contacted our agency to see about getting connected with those families and low and behold, we were able to!!  I am so excited that Sister will be able to maintain contact with her friends that know where she's from and can understand her in a way that we won't be able to! I hope and pray that she has made some lifelong friends in these boys, and I will do my best to accomplish that!!  

Thanks for all of the prayers, and continue praying for urgency to process these cases within both governments!! 

Submitted to Embassy!!!

Thank you for all of your prayers!  We got the email from Embassy we needed on Sunday night.  Now the US Embassy can start their orphan investigation This generally takes a few weeks, but things have been really slow right now so could take several months given the current speed of things! Please be praying that the Embassy has all the information they need to quickly interview who they need to regarding our case and that this portion of the process goes quickly and smoothly!!

Once this investigation is complete we can get our PAIR letter from US immigration and our case can then be filed with the Ethiopian courts and they have to then do their investigation.  Pray for speed in that leg of the race too as it has slowed down as well!   

Thanks to all of you prayer warriors out there!! 

Just be Held

This song is my heart right now. 

"Just Be Held"

By Casting Crowns

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest

In the arms of the God who wont let go 

 

As I posted last month we had a little (big) delay in our process with getting a request for more evidence from USCIS.  We finally got information regarding that the beginning of last week and it was submitted to USCIS.  We have been waiting and haven't heard anything.  If it wasn't enough information, we could get another RFE in the mail (we are praying that's not the case) or if USCIS feels like there is enough information they will send our information on to US Embassy in Ethiopia (We are praying we get this email any day now!!).  

Sadly, along with the delays in this phase of the process I have also heard that the US Embassy is taking a very long time to process cases.  This will most likely delay things further.  Then, once we get through that process, I have also heard that the Ethiopian government is ALSO taking an exceptionally long time to process cases as well.  

I have been quite discouraged most of this week about it and it's really been on my heart.  Most days I can push it down and "forget" about it with an out of sight out of mind, it's in God's hands kind of mentality (Don't get me wrong, I think about my sweet girl CONSTANTLY).  But I have to have some sort of self preservation to get through this wait.  It doesn't help that two dear friends got tough news this week about their cases, so my heart aches doubly for them as well. 

Please be praying that these stages of processing speed up a bit!  Please also be praying that we get the Embassy email soon and that my heart will find some peace.  Please also be praying for my friend's hearts to find peace as well. 

Continuing to wait...

The overlying and underlying theme of adoption is waiting.  And we find ourselves at it again!  Since our last post we were submitted to USCIS (US department of immigration) for the first leg of the "PAIR" process (which is the US side of making our international adoption complete).  We anticipated that this portion would take about a month before our case could be forwarded to the US embassy in Ethiopia for the second leg of the PAIR process.  However, about a month ago we got a request for more information from USCIS, to be completed before our paperwork can get forwarded on to Embassy.  Our agency has been working on getting this information, but we have not seen any progress yet.  Please be praying that this information gets completed quickly and that this hiccough in the process will actually help to speed up the other two legs in the process and we are not met with any more bumps in our path!! 

On a good note, we got new pictures of our sweet girl today.  It looks like she's grown inches in the last couple months!  That is so bitter sweet, as we want her to grow and be healthy (which it looks like she is), but it's so sad to see her growing up right before our eyes and we don't get to be there to witness it and experience it with her.  But let me just tell you, that girl is CUTE!!!  I can't stop looking at her pictures!!  I am so excited to get to know her once she gets home! 

On another positive note our sheet fundraiser that we've been doing has been tremendously successful and we were able to do two huge orders in the past month.  We get a significant amount from the sale of the sheets and that has really added up quickly.  We are really thankful for all who ordered sheets and supported us.  We also got a very generous donation of tulle from our neighbor and we were able to make and sell about 10 tutus before Christmas mostly to people at Expedia.  I also made a couple for my little nieces and maybe a few for sister as well ;).  But through all of this fundraising we have been able to save a chunk of money for traveling fees, and a few other unexpected fees that have come up (we've had to completely updated our dossier, instead of just partially update it so some of the elements of that come with fees).  We are so very thankful for everyone who has supported us financially and in prayers along this journey!  Please keep praying for us, it feels we still have a long way to go. 

Thank You

I was reflecting earlier today on how many of my friends are either in China or Ethiopia or have just gone to China or Ethiopia to meet/pick up their children! I have also chatted with a couple friends who are in the process of or just completed their adoption from the foster system.   I realized that I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people who have answered God's calling on their lives to adopt!  What a hard calling, and what an amzing job you are all doing answering that call!  I am so greatful that, with all of your families, at least one more child will get the privlage to experience the joys of knowing their "forever family".  I just want to thank you all for the work you are doing for these precious children!

Adoption is hard!

The process of paperwork, and then more paperwork.  Then the wait to find out who your child is.  And then more paperwork.  Then you finally get matched with your child, or see that precious face staring out at you from the pages of "waiting children", and you know... that's my child!!  Then more paperwork after that!  Then the heart wrenching, aganizing wait after you get matched with your child until you can go get them, then more paperwork!  Then the amazing wonderful joy of "gotcha day" and of bringing those little people you've been praying for, and hoping for, and wondeirng about for all this time.  What an amazing thing!!

But we can't forget, there is grief, and loss, and fear, and trauma, all mixed into those feelings of love and hope.  And hard times of helping your children work through those doubts and fears.   And lots and lots and lots of prayers that your children will attach and learn to love and catch up and be OK.

But be encouraged.  God is with you!  God is equiping you and he will walk you through this journey.  He will NOT give you more than you can handle.  Sometimes we just need a little help, so don't be afraid to ask.

So bless you adoptive Mommies and Daddies!  Thank you for the work you do for your children.  I will be praying for you just as I hope you are praying for me!

PAIR update

I know, I know, I am a really bad blog updater!  I'm sorry!  Life has a bit crazy, with 2 kids in soccer and after school activities, I'm usually too tired once the kids go to bed to string a coherent sentence together let alone write a whole blog post. 

However, I have been meaning to post an update/thoughts post for the past week now, and finally have energy to sit down and do it.  Well, last week my little girl was on my mind a lot (as if she isn't always on my mind!!) but this was an anxious feeling and I was sending lots of prayers her way.  We have been waiting for a letter from her orphanage since submitting our initial referral acceptance paperwork, and I was getting antsy because I hadn't heard anything about it and it was past the point on our timeline that that should have been completed.  So it was making me sad and nervous so I was thinking about her a lot.

Well, finally we got word at the end of last week that the paperwork they were waiting for had come through! Yay!  But sad day, they were waiting for a few more documents to be delivered before they could submit our paperwork to US immigration (USCIS).  Well, we finally got the word today that they had received everything and it has all been sent off to US immigration to start our "PAIR" process.  This is the process that approves us to be the parents of a specific child.  I am really hoping that the forms that our agency was waiting for will be exactly what our case manager at USCIS will need to quickly process our PAIR documents and will speed up that leg of the journey.  Please be praying that this next stage will go very quickly and that USCIS won't need any more clarifying information from us in order to process it all.

I am in a weird phase right now.  We have about 5-6 months until our first trip for Ethiopian court.  We were initially quoted about 6 months from getting matched with a child until our first trip to Ethiopia.  It's been about a month now, but I am adding on a few extra weeks in my brain's estimated timeline for unforeseen delays.  So 5-6 months until we travel to meet her.  Part of me feels like that day can't come fast enough and I just want it to get here so I can go get to know this adorable little girl.  The other part of me knows the reality of my crazy life and how quickly this time is going to fly by and I'm so nervous I won't have everything done that I want to get done before she gets home.  I have come to see how nesting during adoption is very real people!!  So continued prayers that we can keep working diligently to prepare for her arrival in just a few short months would be wonderful!

Lastly, we continue our fundraising efforts.  We still have a lot of miscellaneous fees, like mailing paperwork, literally, all over the world.  Also, in country expenses and of course air fare, when the time comes.  We plan on doing 1, maybe two more sheet orders before our first trip.  We will for sure be doing another order middle to late November for people who are interested in buying some for Christmas gifts.  So please let me know if you're interested in ordering some.  Secondly, my mom and I have been making things for a bazaar we are doing at the end of August t o sell.  It has been fun getting my craft on, but hard feeling like I don't always have the time to make things, so haven't gotten as much done as I had hoped.  If anyone is crafty and would like to donate goods to our bazaar, please let me know!  We would love to add it to the table.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support.  I will try to keep the blog updated as our prayer requests change and as we move along through the process.  Also, know that I can't share specifics about our daughter or our case on the blog, but I am MORE than happy to talk about it in person (and show off pictures of course)!!